


Paradox

by soberyouth



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, after the interview, just samo fluff, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soberyouth/pseuds/soberyouth
Summary: The paradox is the only word Sana could think about now. In both Japanese and Korean, she can't find a better one to describe everything is happening.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> this interview hit me so much that I wrote my first fic in English  
> hands up if you can relate  
> publishing it with all my love  
> maybe some comments??

Sana hears a small knock-knock in her – well, not actually her, but her, Mina's, Jihyo's, and Nayeon's – door and raises her head from the bed. She is alone in the room, internally thanking other girls for some time for just herself. She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh.

— Come in! — She has no intention to scream, but in the dead silence of the room, even her husky voice sounds like a gunshot.  
— Hey. — Momo steps in, followed by light from the corridor, which makes Sana hide her face in the pillows again. — It's okay, I closed it. — She chuckles — Can I join you? — Sana can feel Momo standing right next to the bed even without looking up.  
— You know you can — casually says Sana as she's moving to the side, laying comfortably and looking at the ceiling, not adding “as always” even though the words are breaking out. She always wants Momo by her side, nothing new, but does Momo want the same? Sana doesn't know anymore.

Momo lies down on the bed right next to Sana keeping a small gap between their arms – definitely, a feat considering not the queen size bed. They spend like this some time — nobody counts, but it feels like a painful eternity for both of them. There is something unspoken between them, something that makes the atmosphere almost unbearable. Still, they both find it calming lay next to each other. Paradox.

The _paradox_ is the only word Sana could think about now. In both Japanese and Korean, she can't find a better one to describe everything is happening. It's a paradox how after all these years with Momo being her closest friend the oldest doesn't let her even a small hug. It's a paradox that the person she trusted the most feels like miles or years away. It's a paradox that Momo is lying next to her right now, looking only at Sana when Sana still looks only at the ceiling.

— You shouldn't tell that on the interview, you know? — quietly asks Momo without further explanation, they know the topic. She covers Sana's hand with her own and Sana fights herself to stay just like this, stopping the urge to curl up facing the wall.   
— Why not? We were taught to be as honest as possible on the interviews and the reporter was a nice guy to talk. I just told the truth, so what's the problem, Momo? — The latest shakes on how cold and impersonally her name sounds — maybe the first time throughout all the years.   
— It hurts.   
— Oh, really? — Sana's voice is toxic as hell and Momo can't help but move a bit away the moment Sana faces her with perfectly readable expression — it's full of hurt with the slight sight of anger. — Not to be an egoist, but how about you hurting me for so long with your rejection for no reason? I spend sleepless nights replaying every action trying to remember where I was wrong. I talked to everyone but no one knows and you, Hirai, didn't bother yourself with even the worst explanation. I — Sana's voice cracks in sync with Momo's heart, when she hears it, when she sees Sana's wet eyes. — I am so sick of you getting rid of me, that I can't even find the strength to try one more time in hope that it will be different. So if it hurts you to hear the truth, then I'm sorry, Momo — with no anger anymore Sana looks into her eyes, not really be able to see anything through the tears — I really am. But I need you to know it hurts me too after almost eight years. — Sana releases her hand from Momo's and finally curls herself, hugging her own knees. She expects Momo to start mumbling, rambling, or just go away in silence but the gentle back hug takes her off guard.

— It hurts me and it hurts me even more now. — Sana hears Momo's whisper in her ear as she is leaning closer. – It's not that I don't trust you anymore, or don't want you next to me, or that I don't love you anymore. — She pauses, trying to hold Sana's arm again and the younger let her — as she always did and probably always will. — The problem is that I do. I do love you so much that it's freaking me out. Your every smile and every touch make me blush and tremble, Sana. I am a total mess when you are around. I can even forget the dance move and if this is not the proof, I don't know what is — Momo laughs quietly and she can feel Sana chuckling in her hug. — It's been a while since I discovered this effect you have on me and I tried so hard to get rid of these feelings that I've almost lost you. And when I saw that interview I realized, how much it hurts to stay away from you, saying “no” every time I craved to scream “yes” with all my lungs. I am sorry too, Sana.

It takes Sana a few minutes to sink everything and think — a few minutes with Momo hugging her and playing with her fingers.  
— Is it a confession, Hirai? — this time Sana's voice is playful and Momo knows there is a smirk on her face.  
— I guess so. — She shrugs nonchalantly getting a light hit on her arm. Sana turns in the hug finally facing Momo with the sly smile.  
— You guess? — Momo hums in a low pitch with a wide smile and Sana takes is as a confident "yes". — Then I guess you owe me hours of hugs. And — she leans closer to leave a small peck in the corner of Momo's lips — maybe kisses.


End file.
